Day 6: The Boy-man, The Deserter or The Chai-wallah?

I got inked today.
And now you have images of a tattoo in your head, don't you? You are wondering what sort of a design I got and where?

But what if it is a different kind of ink, a different tattoo? Not a permanent one, but one which I get to renew every five years? A tattoo that bears testimony to the fact that I am a responsible citizen of my country?

Yes, I voted today. And I felt like I was a part of something greater than myself; a part of a populace which was creating history, moving forward and yet rooted in time; it was a feeling of belonging, not unlike the one I experienced as an NCC cadet in school, a feeling of doing my own little bit for my country.

For the past few months I've been promised things by all the contesting fronts. I've heard them all out.  I've compared and contrasted, weighed the pro's and con's and come to a decision that is all mine.
Many would say I took the decision without thinking, just out of loyalty for my state. But then, pray tell me, why shouldn't I?

 Here is my logic which led to my choice. You may differ or agree with the same, but, my decision is my own, as it should be.
I considered only two main contestants in this game, with the third being an attention seeking pest who kept hovering in my field of vision and hence is included here.

On one side stands a boy-man contesting from a constituency that has been with his family since the last 34 years. He comes from a family that has brought both glory and ruin to this country, but his promises are as empty as his brain. He is, but a parrot, the voice of his mother and of the voice-less leader of his party, who is but a puppet on his mother's strings. While I respect the Iron Lady and Chachaji, I wonder if the Father did right in investing his faith and the country's reins in the hands of a family that has brought nothing but ruin and a foreign daughter-in-law to this great land. And do tell me, ye with the rising hackles, if  the boy-man could not bring prosperity to a constituency that has been voting him and his family to power for the last 34 years, if his party and his mother's puppet could do nothing to bring prosperity to the people who trusted in the them and voted them to power at the center for the last 10 years, why should I vote them to power? They had 10 years to prove their merit, but they couldn't. It is time for someone else to be given the chance, because, more than anything else, what we need now is a leader with a voice of reason which will be heard and respected across the world, a visionary with the power to unite this great nation to build on his visions till they become reality and the country is once again a power to be reckoned with.

The next one is a deserter who won by the force of his promises and his dharnas, but did not have the spine to make good on his promises once he was rewarded for his fasts and penance like the rishis of Indian lore.
Instead he wasted that power for 49 days, holding dharnas even after winning rather than using his power to do good as he should have and then when the weight on his head was too much for his muffler clad neck to bear, he chose to run from the responsibility that came with the power, resigning due to lack of support from other parties and in the process, became the butt of the nation's jokes. Yet, he did not give up.Had he shown the same tenacity while in power, I might have considered him, but as it now stands, he's nothing but a weakling with the intention to do good, who screwed up.Badly.I will be wrong to say that he did nothing good, for he did his best to raise the voice of the people by giving them access to information, but his efforts were not sustained and hence, failed. Tell me, why should I vote a man to power when he is a quitter, who gave up when the night was at its darkest, choosing not to fight on till dawn? How can he be trusted to not do the same should he be voted to power at the center? And the peace-lover that he is, what if he decides to donate some of the country's beautiful valleys for the to wolf next door to hunt in rather than fighting to defend what is rightfully his? This man proved to me, beyond any doubt, that he is unworthy of my trust. 

And the last is a chai-walla, a man of his own making who came into power in the state 13 years ago, and has been in power ever since, proving his mettle by the power of his actions, galvanizing the the state government into making process simpler and more effective and bringing the state to a level that no one would've imagined thirteen years ago. I do not deny that there are grey areas in his tenure as the head of the state government, but hey, if members of the so-called oppressed community still live in the state, and not just live but prosper then doesn't it speak for itself ? This man has proven to me that he is deserving of the trust and power invested in him and is capable of bringing the nation back on its feet, no matter what his personal faults may be. But more than anything else, he's made good on the 13 years of power in the state and has proven to me that he deserves a shot at leading the country. He deserves the chance to make good on his promises to the nation. And he's made me believe that he is the leader that this seething mass of humanity known as India seeks to bring it at par with the world. Unlike the boy-man, he has a voice and thoughts of his own which he is not afraid to show to the world and unlike the deserter, I can trust him to not give up when the times get tough and to not sell out on his country.

And so, my vote went to him

Though I hope for his sake and mine that he makes good on his promises to the nation. For if he doesn't then he shall not be given another chance to prove himself. In fact, that might just prompt me to give governance a shot myself.


Till tomorrow, folks!

Day 4: Fear Of The Future and Growing Up.

" We can't fear the past.

Fear is a future thing.

And since the future's all in our heads,

Fear must be a head thing"

- Tom Payne

Today, as I sat doing nothing, I felt like I was wasting my summers. But what surprised me more was that I, a sworn bibliophile, didn't feel like reading. At first I wondered if it was because I was slowly graduating to more serious writing and hence found a lot of my books frivolous. But then I realized that this wasn't the reason.It scares me, how reading, which was once a solace to me, doesn't seem to be a productive activity anymore. Instead it seems to be a waste of time.
 As I sat texting a few friends, all of whom are interning this summer, I started having second thoughts about choosing not to do the same. I wondered whether I'd been stupid in giving up a chance to decorate my CV by declining a chance to study abroad for an year. I wondered what I was doing with myself, my life, for I did not want to be left behind. The fear of being thought of as a failure, a candle that burnt itself out propelled me further into self-deprecating doubts. I feel as though I don't know where I am going, what I am doing with my life though I do know what I want from it 10 years down the line. I wonder though, at the pace at which I am going, as compared to my peers, will I achieve it? But more than anything, I feel scared.After all, men only fear the unknown, and what is more unknown than the future? I wonder if all people my age feel this way?
This growing up business? It isn't very nice. It is basically just a bunch of questions to which you don't know the answers and by the time you figure those answers out, it is too late. You can't go back and correct the mistakes that you made because you didn't know the answers nor can you change the path you took because you didn't know yourself so well.
Growing up sure is funny business.The confidence and the cockiness of childhood slowly wears away as does the wonder and the sense of curiosity and before you know it you've lost what made you "you". You're just one of the crowd, with nothing left but the mundane. I don't want to go down that path. I don't want to lose myself but I don't know how to prevent it. As a kid, I thought that the exact opposite was supposed to happen as your independence increased but turns out that the responsibilities go up and with that you lose your awe of the future and of growing up. All what is left is fear and worry.
Why can't we stay as children do, fearing nothing and no one, always raring for an adventure, always curious about the future and everything around us and couple all of this with the knowledge and independence of a grown up? Why must the beginning of one always mean the end of the other?
I want the best of both worlds and I sure as hell am going to try my best to get it!

The picture is what I wish I could think like.

Till tomorrow!

Day 3: On Love and Relationships

So, in my weird manner of posting, I seem to have managed to skipped two days' worth of entries in terms of experience and one day's entry going by my last post.

Anyway, today's entry is on Love.

Sounds cliched right? Well, maybe it is.

Anyhow, this topic was picked due to it being the topic of conversation with friends.

Try and recall, just how many people whom you've recently met and barely know, have been at the receiving end of a "So, are you in a relationship?",  from you?

 How is it, that being in a relationship is more important than actually loving the person you are in a relationship with? Why do people get into relationships for "time pass"? Have they not heard of better things, known to most as hobbies, to while away their time? And please do explain, exactly how does playing with someone's feelings constitute time pass?

Any way, enough of this ranting.

 I wondered just how many people, both guys and girls would be ok with being in a relationship with someone elder and younger respectively, to them?
I expected that the guys would scoff at the idea of dating a girl elder to them, but surprisingly and refreshingly, the assumption fell on its head and the girls were pretty open to the idea of dating someone younger than themselves, too (Not that the word "cougar" didn't rear its ugly head once or twice, but still.).
It goes a long way to show, that there exist people who want a relationship for real, in which both people are equals, irrespective of their age and maturity, and, most importantly love and respect each other.

As we continued to talk along those lines, people came up with their "types" and talked about how they didn't feel "that way" about anyone and that got me wondering as to what my type would be?
And, for the umpteenth time in my life, I did not have an answer to the question.
 I did have a long list of characteristics which I'd like in my guy,which kept narrowing down till very few were left. They just described a basically genuine and good person. Not a perfect person, without any issues in life, but a real person with his fears, strengths and hopes.

And then I wondered, "What would this elusive 'That way' mean to me?

Going by the list of woes that a lot of committed friends have confided in me, I came up with a list of what I'd want and what I'd not, in a relationship.

So, without further ado, I now present to you, my list of feeling "that way" and showing it too a.ka. the DO's and DONT's of a relationship :

1.Love doesn't mean holding on. It means setting free the object of your affection.

2. That doesn't mean you give up without a fight when things get tough.

3.Trust the person you love. Nothing is more irritating or disheartening than a suspicious boyfriend/girlfriend.
Just because someone cheated on you once doesn't mean that the next person to come along will do that too. Give them a chance. Do not let your past colour your future.

4. Yes, do protect the person you love. And let them know that they are wanted. But being over-protective and over-possessive sucks. You'll probably just end up driving away the object of your affection. People want and need to learn from their mistakes. You can't always protect them from everything in the world without killing them from boredom and irritation.

5. Yes, of course, you do want to know whether your love ate or not, what they did all day etc. etc.
That doesn't mean you interrogate them like the CIA or ask them to provide you with a detailed POA for the day, akin to the US President's tour itinerary. Remember, they aren't your life and neither are you their life, irrespective of what all those urdu poets and hindi song and scriptwriters have been saying all this while.
You are both a part of each other's lives and that's how it should stay. Being single is much better than a stifling, control-freaky better half. Respect the space and privacy of the person you love.

6. That doesn't mean you stop being interested in their life. Just respect their time,space and decision making abilities. (Yes, those abilities are very much there, irrespective of how much you doubt their presence at times.) :P
Also, their independence.

7.Just as guys are scared of talking about the future and committing to something, so are girls. Talking to her about marriage and kids when you've been dating her for 2 months is just as intimidating for her as it would be for a guy.Stop it.

8.Do not put undue pressure on him/her to say "I Love You" by telling him/her so ten times a day. Saying those words too often makes them loose their essence. Savor them and say them only when you truly mean them.And even if you truly mean them all the time, save them for special occasions as the cherry on top.
The object of your affection will say it when they truly mean it.

9. That doesn't mean you hesitate to tell the person in question that you love him/her, once in a while. Everyone deserves to know that they are loved. And who knows what may happen in the future.Just make sure that you don't get stuck in a situation where you didn't get to tell someone that you loved them and then lost the chance forever (one of my perpetual fears and hence the reason why I keep telling people that I love them).

10. Your gf/bf isn't responsible for either your moods or improving them. So stop blaming them. They will be there to listen when you need it. They'll always be there to help, if only you ask. They love you and will try everything in their power to help, but sometimes they just can't. Stop blaming them.

11. Do not try to curb his/her freedom. We girls have our guy friends and wee need them too and vice versa.
And jealousy upto a certain extent is fine, healthy even. But beyond that it is just plain creepy

12. Also, just because he/she didn't tell you something first and told it to someone else instead doesn't mean you aren't special. And if he/she hates PDA but doesn't mind hugging other guys in public, it doesn't mean either that he/she is an easy lay or that he/she is cheating. Maybe they just don't just don't like PDA. That's it.

13. Do not try to change the person you claim to love, because it is not love if you try to change them.Love them with their flaws and idiosyncrasies. That's what keeps the spark alive. Otherwise you'll just end up creating a boring clone of yourself.  Do not love your image of the person. Love the real person as it is.

14. Remember that love is capable of changing forms without reducing its intensity. So, if you break up, doesn't mean your ex can't love or care for you or that the person is lost to you. You can always be friends if you have the guts.

15.And last, but definitely not the least "STOP OVER-THINKING". It is your mind that creates half the things that cause fight between you guys. They don't exist for real.

P.S Sorry for the grammar. I know it is pathetic and the grammar Nazi in you is silently strangling me, but hey, its late and I am sleepy!

P.P.S the picture is because no one says things, just the way they are better than Calvin and Hobbes.
Till later!

Day 2: On Happiness

Today was one of those non-descript, nothing-worth-remembering-but-still-makes-me-happy-coz-I-did-something-productive-in-the-hols- and-spent-time-with-special-people days.
 When I first started this blog, it was supposed to be a sort of e-diary, a place to record my thoughts, my ideas and musings, but somewhere along the way I turned it into my medium for documenting my 100 happy days challenge.
 But today, as I sat trying to pin point the reason for my happiness to record it for the challenge, I came to realize that there are days when nothing special happens to make you happy and yet those days can make you feel content too, just because nothing happened to make you unhappy either.
 Or because you've come to realize that the source of your joy and contentment is none other than you. And, as a very special teacher once told me, if and when you find this inner fountain of joy, never let go of it, for then you'll always be happy, on dark winter days and bright spring ones; irrespective of whether you flunked a test or had a fight with your best friend, did a brilliant presentation or bore the brunt of your boss' anger, you will always be happy.
 On this journey to growing up, I've come to understand that no one can make me unhappy unless I give them the permission to, but it is difficult to be selective about the people who receive this permit, because hey, I love and care too much, too many and too freely to be selective, and hence, I often find myself unhappy.But sometimes, that unhappiness is worth it, for the people who received the permit to cause it are too special to be denied the right to hurt. For all the rest, I am still learning how to revoke this all-access-pass.
 And till then, here's to the unhappiness that, for once, stems from learning.
 As I type the end to today's entry, this blog has gone back to being the e-diary that it was supposed to be rather than the documentation of my 100 happy days challenge, that it never was. And I've learned that it isn't always necessary to notice what made you happy, till the time you notice that you were happy and appreciate the source of that happiness, irrespective of whether it stems from within you or comes from an external source.
 But most of all, remember to smile, be happy and as I told a very special friend, my Hippie to you all,

Dance for joy, and do a mad twirl,
For you finally got what you set out to achieve, my dear mad girl!

The world is one hell of a joy ride if you know who to hold on to and what to let go of at the right times.


P.S In case you were wondering, the "productive thing" in question was organizing my stuff and giving a vent to my creativity, and the "special person" was a 6-ft. tall "little one". :P

Till tomorrow!  

Day 1: On Friendship.

So today is the first day of a fresh start at this endeavor which I have given up somewhere midway once before, and I have no excuse for it except pure laziness and I couldn't have asked for a better day or people to start with.
Today's post is about me and three crazy, special people (two others are MIA);
 Friends who've known me for more moons than I care to count; friends without whom I'd have no memories worth recalling of my school days; friends who accept me the way I am: friends who are the family I picked.
Today was the first time I met them in more than 4 months (or a year) and one of us is now working and the other two are at the other end of the country. Everything is different and yet nothing has changed. We have all matured over the past two years, made our own paths according to our calling, grown into our skins, spread out across the country and in some cases, barely talked in a pretty long time, and yet, at heart we are all the same old kids who'd run to each others defense should any outside force (or person\s :P ) threaten us, the "cool" kids, each others' sounding boards and 3 a.m speed dial friends, shrinks and supports through the past 16 years. Very few are fortunate enough to be blessed with friends like these; people with whom you can pick it up right where you left off even after years, like it was just yesterday and I am thankful to be one of those people. Over the years we've grown in numbers, welcoming new people ( just as special) into this "group". Earlier, I'd feared that these friends would weaken the bond that is us, but now I realize that we're much stronger than I'd imagined, and that all the new people  just helped strengthen us and helped us grow!
So here's to the friendships, both new and old, but most of all, here's to the 5 people I call my best friends for life! Those four words barely cover the depth and the strength of this bond and no words could ever express what we truly mean to each other, but nevertheless, I can't help but try. Thank you for being there always. I may not say this very often, but I love each one of you with every fiber of my being, just the way you are. Here's to a lifetime of friendship!

P.S  I am sorry for having been stupid and pig-headed for a pretty long time.
P.P.S  R, A and D, you guys are sorely missed too.
P.P.P.S Sorry for the picture.